So I celebrated my 41st birthday on the 22nd. I am feeling bittersweet about the celebration. Yes, very happy and feeling very blessed that God has given me the health to be with my family this many years and I pray his favor upon me and my children to continue for many more. But sad due to the times that have gone by so fast! My sons and daughter growing older as well. I will have a 20 year old, a 17 year old and a 12 year old this year! No more babies in grade school :-(. No more soccer games, awards assemblies, classroom parties, eating lunch @ school with them. Time goes by so fast. I miss my babies when they were babaies. I know pretty soon (not too too soon) I will soon enjoy the grand children! :-)

I am upset that I have not stuck to my plan to become a healthier person and go to excercise like I wanted too. BUT, I am not given up! I am never giving up! I relapse a day or so…. I will start again, fresh, new, the next day. The great thing about fall downs is that you get to start A NEW!!!!!

Well…. will keep determined to be that…. HOT MOM IN PROGRESS :O/

As we pass the celebrating the independence of our wonderful country, I stop and think about those who gave me my freedom and for those who continue to help preserve it. My hats off to out troops and the sacrifices of their families. Its also not hard to stop and think about how great my country is and what a blessing it truly is to be here and be a citizen. Those who were born here and do not come from another country, I truly dont think they fully appreciate what they have, they are born to expect it. Which is sad sometimes. My mom and dad immigrated from Mexico over 45 years ago but have taken us to our home country multiple times! And when I come back home, I am just so thankful to my parents for their sacrifice and for bringing us to the US. it was hard and still is ahrd being away from family, but, nevertheless still am very grateful to be an American!  However it is difficult, as Abraham Quintanilla said in the movie Selena, it is hard being a Mexican American, you got to prove to the Mexicans how Mexican you are and prove to the Americans how American you are. You have to know about Oprah and Christina!… very true! I am very proud of and love both cultures!

God bless the USA!

Today, once again, I paid no attention nor did I prioritize myself in the aspect of my health and wellness. 6 days (Eeek!) without going to the gym! What makes it worse, is that I didn’t watch what I ate. Well… I watched it alright, go right into my mouth! To worsen that, today was a sad day. A good friend of mine, is going thru some marital difficulties. Back in the day, the fights and break ups were a bit, tiny bit, exciting. Because the making up was wonderful. And besides, to you, when your young, your love… will last an eternity. Just one look into his dark brown eyes, or if he dedicates a song to you over the radio, sends you some flowers, or if he would just hold you…. you know that everything is going to be all right.The words, the pain, just disappear!

But you’ve noticed you’ve both grown up now. (literally, the both have grown out of the seams of your clothes, lol?) The words seem a little more hurtful? The pain seems to linger a little longer. The nastiness seems to bother you more. The silence in bed, leaves a deep mark. The romantic words are gone. The roses have died. And you don’t even want to look at each other anymore even more so, touch each other?! No way.But you see, you’ve got children now, which adds even more to the confusion.

They say it is easier to survive a marriage or relationship in your 20’s and 30’s than it is in your 40’s and on. Why? Well, again, your young. Life seems to be forever. The problems you have when your young are minute compared to when your older. Your options seem faaaar away. You think to yourself, well, if this guy/girl doesn’t work out, ill get a divorce… I’m still young. You tend to understand each others temptations because your both the same. Young and naive.

But when your older… you say… OMG! Where did the time go? My life is almost over, I am not wasting any more time! The kids are grown but they maybe the cause of your fights (are they drinking? freeloading? having relations? etc) You no longer feel that forced commitment. You got some experience now. No one plays you for a fool. Your parents, that gave you wisdom, are either no longer alive or they are getting old and now require time and attention, which has probably caused one of the strains. Then you have the health strains, the woman is probably going thru MENopause and the man is going thru a midlife crisis. Your finances aren’t to bad, your car/house paid for, etc but you don’t want to do anything, go anywhere which is again, probably part of the issues. Your sex life, well„, the woman is either going crazy and shes a cougar or the man is thinking he’s going to prove himself to himself before its all over and both are having affairs but not with each other. Or.. its has gotten to be like oatmeal, dry toast… tasteless!There was just one too many nasty words, one too many silent treatments… making up, isn’t even worth the effort anymore

So, what do you do? what can you say? Because your afraid your own true feelings and emotions may surface.What you can do?… is just be there. For support. for the tears. To listen and love. Not judge. Listen with your mind and speak with your heart. To the BOTH of them. Never take sides! Never give advice if you don’t think its your place! Remember your words if they are not professional or spiritual (words directly from God) then keep your mouth shut! Because remember, it is not only her or his life your effecting, its the children’s.

So I will just wait by the phone. Ready to lend my shoulder, my ear, a handkerchief. And give a hug<3